WIN A CHANCE TO KICK MIKE ASHLEY IN THE BOLLOCKS!

That caught your attention didn’t it? Imagine that, a competition where the lucky winner gets the chance to kick Mike Ashley square in the bollocks! I reckon we could easily sell tickets for at least £50 a pop, but alas, it’s just wishful thinking, or is it?

What if I told you that you could actually kick the the greedy bastard square in the bollocks on a regular basis, would you be up for it?

Well now you can my pedigree chums, you can! Now hear me out, we all know that Mr Ashley is buying up and destroying the high street, in particular the luxury retail sector.

The mass buying power of the evil empire also known as The Fraser Group has put many an independent retailer to the sword. But could this extraordinary buying power also be their achilles heel?

Now take Flannels for instance, 9 -10 years ago they would only have a handful of each item in stock, but nowadays they have shitloads! So much so, that their rails are full to the point where they are offering 20% off every other week, and 50% (or more) off in their seasonal sales.

I’ll give you a real life example, I wanted a Stone Island Membrana 3L TC field jacket from this years Spring Summer collection, a truly stunning piece, garment dyed in the brands Inchistro colourway (that’s Ink to you and me).

The only problem was that I didn’t want to pay £815.00 for it, so I sat tight, and I waited for the inevitable sale. And a few short months later I bagged the jacket for £409.00!

You see The Fraser Group buy so much stuff these days – they simply can’t sell it fast enough! Even last seasons stand out Stone Island piece, the beautiful SI Marina Ripstop Prismatico jacket didn’t sell out. In fact they are on sale (in every size and colour) at the time of writing this article for £456.00 below the original RRP!

And there you have it, I’ve kicked Mike Ashley right in the bollocks (for the princely sum of £406.00), and I will continue to do so. Half price clobber and a regular kick in the nuts for Mr Ashley, just imagine if we all did that?

The only caveat I’ll add is if Liam Gallagher gets photographed wearing a particular piece, then you’ve got no choice, you either pull up the dough or miss out. Other than that you’re all set.

P.S: This tactic works well at all of the retail outlets owned by the Fraser Group, although no fucker would want any half price clobber from Sports Direct now would they?